I’m sitting in a Thai restaurant listening to a guy explain to his girl friend that Thailand is a country in Southeast Asia. “Near Japan?” “No. Southeast Asia. Near Cambodia and Laos.” “In the Middle East?” Not exaggerating.
Then he told her there’s a dictatorship in North Korea and people can’t leave and she goes, “They can’t go on vacation?” I SWEAR TO GOD.
This girl hates when people say caramel because she insists it’s carmel. So today might be the day I murder my first human.
Haha she just ate too much sriracha. And asked who sang the song on right now. The song is Layla. For fuck’s sake."
— A friend relates and reacts to a conversation she’s overhearing
Swedish couple have honeymoon from hell
A newly-wed couple on a four-month honeymoon were hit by six natural disasters, including the Australian floods, Christchurch earthquake and Japanese tsunami.
Stefan and Erika Svanstrom left Stockholm, Sweden, on December 6 and were immediately stranded in Munich, Germany, due to one of Europe’s worst snowstorms.
Travelling with their baby daughter, they flew on to Cairns in Australia which was then struck by one of the most ferocious cyclones in the nation’s history.
From there, the couple, in their 20s, were forced to shelter for 24 hours on the cement floor of a shopping centre with 2500 others.
"Trees were being knocked over and big branches were scattered across the streets," Mr Svanstrom told Sweden’s Expressen newspaper. "We escaped by the skin of our teeth."
They then headed south to Brisbane but the city was experiencing massive flooding, so they crossed the country to Perth where they narrowly escaped raging bush fires.
The couple then flew to Christchurch, New Zealand, arriving just after a massive magnitude 6.3 earthquake devastated the city on February 22.
Mrs Svanstrom said: “When we got there the whole town was a war zone.
"We could not visit the city since it was completely blocked off, so instead we travelled around before going to Japan."
But days after the Svanstroms arrived, Tokyo was rocked by Japan’s largest earthquake since records began.
"The trembling was horrible and we saw roof tiles fly off the buildings," Mr Svantrom said. "It was like the buildings were swaying back and forth."
The family returned to Stockholm on March 29 after a much calmer visit to their last destination China.
But Mr Svanstrom – who also survived the devastating Boxing Day tsunami that hit southeast Asia in 2004 – said the marriage was still going strong.
He added: “I know marriages have to endure some trials, but I think we have been through most of them.
"We’ve certainly experienced more than our fair share of catastrophes, but the most important thing is that we’re together and happy.
Mrs Svanstrom added: “To say we were unlucky with the weather doesn’t really cover it! It’s so absurd that now we can only laugh.”