Prank protester chases Rutte over health cuts

The austerity talks the Dutch government has been holding over the past weeks in The Hague have been surrounded by the utmost secrecy. On Thursday, a protestor who chased Prime Minister Mark Rutte cycling to his residence provided one of the rare moments of excitement.

The protestor was a woman who looks after mentally handicapped people. She said she wanted to denounce the government’s cuts in health care. For the occasion she had dressed up as a banker. Police officers on guard at the entrance to the PM’s residence stopped her. After shaking hands with Mr Rutte, she was allowed to leave.

The Netherlands: Where you can chat up the Prime Minister while he rides around on his bicycle.

AFMADOW, SOMALIA—Utter global disinterest in the wholesale slaughter of 250,000 ethnic Bajuni people this week has caused Somali warlord Maj. Fortunate Charles to regret all the effort he put into covering up the atrocities. “I went out of my way to hide the corpses in secret mass graves, I burnt entire villages to the ground to destroy evidence—all for nothing,” said Charles, adding that he had expected intense media scrutiny or at least some kind of U.N. fact-finding mission. “Next time, I’ll leave them lying where they fall with the machetes still in their heads.” Charles said he was also upset about the money he’d wasted on the custom-fitted Italian suit he had intended to wear while on trial in the Hague.